Old Friends

Today I get to hang out with an old friend of mine who I haven't seen in a long time. The sad thing is that she lives around the city still, so she's not like an old friend who is out of province which makes hanging out pretty much impossible (although I am fortunate one of my old friends visited just recently from Newfoundland).

I find it is hard sometimes to arrange a time to hang out when everyone has their own lives to lead and things just get busy sometimes. I get that. Sometimes, just everyday living gets in the way of doing things that you really want to do. So to arrange two people's lives so that there's some time to get together is really difficult.

This hangout was arranged about a month ago. It was full of uncertainty since it was so far away. I had worries like, will I get sick? Will she get sick? What if I got a job (as if)? What if she forgot she had something important to do? What if her day off from work got switched around? But today is finally here, and aside from being a little gassy (and having a general need to over share), I'm feeling pretty OK.

Actually, I'm pretty darn excited! I'm glad that I get to see an old friend because life is so uncertain that you just don't know when you get to see them again the next time. Maybe their life will take them away from where you live, or maybe your life will take you to other places. I am just glad that I get to hang out with friends when I have the chance.

Flower and Milk Make Good Candies

Flowers and milk are both delicious flavours for candies.

Who knew?

Well obviously the Japanese and most of Asia knows about this "secret".

Last Friday, I went with a friend to a two dollar store. Yes, a high-end dollar store that sells Japanese things that's weird, random and delightful.

In the store they have a section that sells candies, so I decided to pick up two kinds of candies that I haven't had since my childhood. First is the flower candy, that can only be described as uniquely feminine in flavour... if there can be a feminine vs. masculine candy out there, this candy would be the feminine candy.

The second candy, is this milky delicious candy, that is not quite like vanilla ice cream, and not quite like a latte. Yes, not very helpful, but I give it all all thumbs up.

Needless to say, there are only a few candies left lying around by today.  I'm really worried that I haven't got dental insurance, but not worried enough to stop eating them though. So do I have to say again that I really recommend you try them? Maybe. Maybe not. But really, you have to try them!

I forgot how much Asian candies are better in so many ways then the North American candies that I normally love and consume. They are so innovative and strange in flavour. They are also very delicious too even though they sound like a weird idea at first.

To finish off this post, I will leave you with a picture that's worth a thousand visits to the dentists.

Trying a Seascape

It's a bit wrinkly but that's cause I tried it on paper.

Anyway... it's a bit messed up looking hahahha but ok for a first attempt right? Lol

Criminals Dress Code.

Yesterday, The Province posted some most wanted criminals that you can read about here. As I was looking at the pictures in the paper, I suddenly realized that wow. These people DO look like criminals (except for maybe one of them). They certainly have a "criminal" look to them that movies and TV shows would depict as criminals.

Now, sometimes on the buses, I see people who look like they are criminals. And I am definitely judging a book by its cover, but I don't feel very comfortable when I see them, because I think I just assume that they are criminals.

Is that unfair?

Most definitely. But I do this, and when I'm aware of it, I don't feel any less comfortable around them. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this natural?

I wonder if any one else does this too.

Lolz Cat Does Good Again

Hilarious? I think so.

Welding Rhymes with Melting. Sort of.

Today I tried welding both with the MIG and with the oxy-acetylene welder. And I must say. It's not as easy as those guys make it look on TV.

I did pretty well even though I was sort of afraid. Mostly I am afraid of flames, fire and heat. So I really do think that welding is like therapy for me. But it's strange because part of me is like a moth because it's totally attracted to flames too. I'm sure someone can psychoanalyze me real good just from that but really, I think a lot of us have that. There's something we're kinda afraid of but also attracted to at the same time. For me, it's fire and flames. For someone else it might be heights and bungee jumping.

It feels good to do something new and something that you're not quite certain that you're capable of doing. It's a good feeling and I get this high from it. It could also be all the fumes in the metal shop. But I like to just think that it's the thrill of doing something that I was afraid of, and coming back out the other end unharmed.

Well, I guess I won't be sleeping until late tonight. I'm certainly going to ride this high feeling for a bit longer because as I'm getting older, I feel that I don't have this feeling nearly as much as when I was younger! I can see why they say some people keep doing new things to stay young because I think this is the feeling of youth.

Love this

Following Your Passion

Lately it seems like all my art instructors were talking about following your passion. Of course that makes sense. That is what they actually chose to do with their lives. They are the brave ones. They are the ones who didn't let other people's "art will never make you a living" get in their way.

There are so many times when people get scared. And they get scared into taking those jobs that they don't like because it's secure or it's OK. I've been there before. It's not like the job was actually horrible (nothing about having to kill any animals). But it wasn't anything that I really wanted to do. It seems like a lot of the people I worked with also had other things they rather do as well. But instead of doing those things, they were like me, stuck in this boring job day in and day out. Maybe because of this fear of not having work and money. Or maybe it's the fear of being regarded as one of the crazy folks chasing a dream for the rest of their lives.


I am a bit confused as to where I stand right now. On one part, I'm looking for a job. On the other part, I am doing what I love during my free time now. All I know is I keep getting this nagging voice that tells me to "get a job" or that "the pressure is on". Of course if this voice lasted for more than 10 minutes then I would go mental. Usually now I find it easier to ground my thoughts again. I don't know if it's the practice of all the art I've been doing, which requires me to concentrate more than ever like meditation or if it's because I'm just getting better at redirecting my thoughts these days.

So where does everyone else stand on this point in life? Are you doing anything you are passionate about? Do you find them for yourself during your busy work days to do what you love? Or have you already made your career about your passion?

Super Sunny Sundays. And how people should learn to walk better.

Today was wonderful out! I wished I didn't have to be inside and I wished that I had a chance to avoid Granville Island (even though it is one of my favorite places in Vancouver).

I love Granville Island because it's quaint and has lots of interesting shops and most of the shops have people who care about what they do. And I love Granville Island because there are so many studios and the location is right by the sea. It really can't be beat on a lovely sunny day such as this. But unfortunately, with a lovely location, you have crowds. And with crowds, you have your morons.

I really can't stand people who don't know how to walk. It's not that they stumble and fall and don't know how to do it. It's just that these people don't understand it's necessary to let people walk pass them in the opposite direction.

So these morons I encountered were walking from the opposite in a group of three. There's nothing wrong with that but these guys decided to side by side on a narrow strip of wood pathway that really fits only three people across. They ended up blocking all the people behind them by walking ridiculously slow and moving so sporadically that nobody knew how to pass them. Heck, that's not really my problem, but as I approached from the opposite side, they showed no signs of changing their formation. On my side, there was traffic, so really, I couldn't tuck further to my side. I had no curb to step on. I was trapped. Yes, trapped in an idiot walk off.

I had to think quick. So I needed to use what I have with me. Luckily for me, I had a canvas in my arm. I started swinging it quite strongly.

All of a sudden, the formation changed and the guys decided to let me pass after all! Voila. Just like that I was safe. So what, if it had to resort to a threat of physical violence from my part. I was safe.

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned somewhere in here. I'm not sure if the lesson is to always carry something that can do some damage (even on a Sunny day in a lovely place like Granville Island), or if it is to not let walking bullies push you into oncoming traffic.

All I know is that on a lovely day like today, my art practice saved my life.

Getting All Tao on Y'all

I was rummaging through blogs and I found this. Enjoy!

Fill your bowl to the brim 
and it will spill.
 
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
 
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
 
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
 
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

Lao-tzu (551-479 BC)

Why Doris Hates (the idea of) Vegetarianism (especially in restaurants)

I don't eat vegetarian. Ever.

That's not true. I do. And I did.

Yesterday, I tried a vegetarian place with some good friends of mine for lunch. And they can tell you that I ate a veggie burger (with peanuts in it). I know. How frightful!

Quite frankly, I hate vegetarian food. Actually, that's not really true either. I don't mind food that's actually vegetarian as long as they don't advertise it as such. Does that even make sense? Maybe not. So let me explain, because I did a lot of thinking on this yesterday, after I ate that disgustingly dry piece of cardboard vegetable shit...

The idea of having to eat vegetarian just repulses me. I don't know if it's because I feel like I'm being restricted or if I really just want to eat some animals during my lifetime here. It's probably the latter. I like the idea of eating poor innocent animals that can't help themselves but be so tasty. That's right, I'm a sociopath of sorts and here's your first clue should you one day want to use this against me.

It's strange that when I eat things that are really just vegetarian, but not advertise as such, I don't get as repulsed by it. Maybe it does have something to do with losing my freedom or feeling like I'm on a diet. Or maybe it's because places that serve real vegetarian food without advertising it, actually make it tasty because they don't rely on the word "veggie" to sell their product.

Either way, I know I hate the idea of being restricted when I eat. This will probably explain why I can never follow any religion full-heartedly because most religions have some rules on when you can or can't eat right? I am not sure yet about the Christians, but having to eat turkey on Thanksgiving is a sort of diet in itself isn't it?

Anyway, I hate diets. The connotations of that word brings up nothing but images of thin-again-and-fat-again Oprah and juice-guzzling old men with more musculature than a doped up Arnold. It's the kind of craze that makes skinny people want to be thinner and fat people want to be thinner. Although, I think a few days of dieting makes fat people want to eat the skinny people due to the faulty logic of if I eat something that's fat free (skinny person) then I will ultimately lose weight (not true).

So really, I think I don't like the idea of vegetarianism because I've linked it to the world of "dieting" and trying to be healthier (but in fact, trying to lose weight). But that's my personal issue with vegetarianism. I know lots of people are vegetarians for lots of different reasons and some of them might not be lying. But I bet lots of them want to be skinny off this effort too. And if I want to be skinny, of course I'll eat "vegetarian" because so many restaurants don't do it right that it's really hard to finish your food.

This brings me to the next point, which is vegetarian food that's not advertised as such, usually tastes better. Now of course, the neurotic-paranoid-conspiracy theorist in me say that it's probably just because they add chunks of beef in it instead of beans and chunks of chicken to replace what they call soy, but assuming that's not so, I think it's got to do with advertising.

For most restaurants to sell their food, unless it's hockey night in Vancouver and they've got a big-screen TV, they really need to make it tasty. But it seems like there aren't that many vegetarian plates on menus of most restaurants, so when they do, they don't need to do it right to sell it. All they have to do is slap on the word: Vegetarian, and they're bound to sell a good amount of it. Now I'm not sympathizing with vegetarians, God forbid I do that, but I'm just saying that most places don't need to cater to veggie taste buds because unlike us blessed omnivores, we can't say that the veggie burger at "Jim's Dinner" is shit, so we'll order a juicy succulent meaty burger instead.

To make my point, I have to confess that I actually ate vegetarian food last night too. That's right folks, for the first time here, I've admitted to going a whole day without any sort of meat (I don't think I even had any eggs in my food unless that veggie burger for lunch was held together by eggs.. that would explain the dryness). I had rice, with pickled cucumbers and this greasy-goodness called Korean seaweed. I also had some pan-friend tofu with sweet soy sauce and a perfectly crunchy and delectable dish of bok-choy in black bean sauce. Now, here you might say that I'm just a great chef. To that I admit, but I didn't make this meal myself. My boyfriend, who may or may not have previous cooking experience, did all the work.

I know I'm not very good at seeing if things are vegetarian (are T-bone steaks vegetarian, because they T is really not like meat right?) but I'm sure my dinner was vegetarian. And quite frankly, it was a really good meal. Everything had flavour, nothing was unnecessarily grainy or "granola" tasting. Granted, I might not have gotten as much fiber as my cardboard burger, but it's nothing that a glass of Metamucil (or for you with more expensive tastes, Greens+) won't fix.

Anyway, I think next time I go out, I'll definitely be avoiding the vegetarian foods, but maybe if not for the points above, it's for the fact that when you change your diet, things happen in your stomach that you really don't want to talk about. So for now, I'll open a window, eat a steak for breakfast and hope for a better tomorrow.

Happy Hallmark Day!

When I was younger I thought that Hallmark made up Valentine's Day and nothing but some huge marketing ploy. Although my suspicions haven't completely subsided, I think now that St.Valentine's Day is not all that bad. For sure, the chocolate, card, and giant stuff animal manufacturers are going to capitalize on this holiday, but then so do they for everything else like Christmas and Easter. It doesn't mean that we have to stop celebrating it. But maybe we can stop buying the merchandise and just spend time with the ones who are important instead.

Of course, this is easier said than done especially when they seem to bombard us with their advertisements (it's like even our local drugstores have turned into theme based stores for most days of the year). And maybe buying some products won't be so horrible (especially if we're talking about those mini Cadbury Eggs for Easter... mmm). But nobody is really forcing us to buy anything really.

As a matter of fact, I still remember the days when I was young and single and carefree... I'm thinking of third grade... when we didn't really buy anything for Valentine's Day. And we weren't really celebrating lovers, because at that age, it would be more than weird. It was just another day where we got an excuse to have some fun and take a break from learning that multipication table (btw I'm still on break from that after more than 17 years). 

So for this Valentine's Day maybe it's time to pull out that old box of Crayolas, some long forgotten & faded construction paper and a whole lot of glitter glue. So happy Valentine's to everyone. And I'll see you all some time next week because I will be in some chocolate/sugar induced coma by tomorrow night after I go clear out the Post-Valentine section of the local chocolate store!

Ugh, Art Class

Some days I love art class. And on other days, I don't feel like I can muster up enough energy to go. All I feel like is "UGH, Art class". Of course, when I'm already there and doing the stuff, I don't feel bad at all. So what is wrong with me?

Is this something that I learned to do like the way I learned to hate going to school? Maybe it's years of watching the TV shows/movies that say it's OK to whine and bitch about going to school. For example, there were countless times when I was a child, when I could watch another child getting ready for school and whining to their parents about how they don't want to go. Or better yet, they fake that they are sick so they don't have to go to school.

I somehow think that my behaviour is a learned behaviour. I don't see how it would make sense for me to think about school (of all schools, art school) as UGH. My former fat child self would slap myself if she saw me today bitching about going to something fun. "F*** man", she'd say, "You're going to f*cking paint for a few hours, BOO F*cking HOO". I was formerly an angry sort of fat child.

Anyway, I'm going to stop thinking like this. Next time I get that thought, I'll correct myself and tell myself to stop being a whiny little bitch. And if I don't stop, I will slap myself. I've always wanted to slap other whiny little bitches I've been around... especially those who complain about free food.

Some of you will know what I mean. But I used to work in this office where the people were nice enough to get you free cake for your birthday. Then one day these whinny bitches came along and complained that there's just TOO MUCH free cake. Yeah. I'm still angry about that. My inner fat angry child is definitely holding onto this grudge. Seriously. Who the f***... you get my point.

I'm not sure if any of you have felt like this before. I'm sure you have once or twice. Come on, admit it! If you haven't then that's good for you. I need to learn to be more like you.

Puzzling Frame of Mind

Remember how I talked about puzzling? Of course you don't. So this is the link to that post.

Anyway, it was finished a while back. And naturally, life got in the way. No, it didn't. I'm lying. I just forgot to post the results.

So now the natural thing to do is to take it apart right? NO! Who in their right mind would go through the pain of rebuilding this again?

Anyone know how to put a puzzle in a frame? I have a general idea on what to do but I'm not sure if anyone else has experience they can share. If you do, shoot them this way, because I have a feeling the procrastinator in me will need at least a good year or so before I get around to actually framing it. For now, it can have all the space it wants!

Vancouver's Bus system sucks. Translink

I don't need to tell people in Vancouver about this.

If you've had to transit around in Vancouver for at least 6 months, you would be able to accumulate enough horror stories of your own.

If you've transited as long as I have, you can write a book.

I wonder how long it will be before there will be any change. A large part of me says that this system (however shitty) is here to stay. There's no way you can make those bus drivers like their jobs more. You can pay them more but I don't think that's what makes people nicer.

I always wonder why people with zero to none customer service or "working with the public" skills, end up in the driver seat. I wonder if something happened and someone made them become a driver? Maybe their family got sick, and they need lots of money and this was the only skill they had. I heard bus drivers don't make little. I don't know how much they make but they're part of a union and sure as heck make more than a lot of people.



So why are most of them so bitter? Or malicious (the lead foot drivers that jerk the whole bus... the ones who probably think, if I'm not happy on this bus, nobody's happy on this bus).


I guess that's why some of my seemingly "green" friends, don't end up taking transit and prefer to drive to places.

One day I will earn enough to have my own car so I don't have to be at the whim of these psychotic drivers!




If you want to read my Yelp review, it's here. To sum it up, the bus missed me. Yep. I didn't miss the bus, I was standing right there. But the bus missed me *sigh*

Unfair Comparisons.

I don't know about you. But every once in a while, I catch myself trying to compare what I have with others. And I become really anxious or uncomfortable and generally bitter. I try not to do this too much and usually I can catch myself in time. But yesterday was just not a good day because it went on and on in my mind. It was psychotic really.

So this morning, I went googled it (as I google everything else in life) and I came upon this blog. It's all about zen habits and such.

I found a section on it that says something about comparing ourselves to others. (And if you guessed it's not very zen to do it, then you'd be right). Here's what I took (word for word) from his site.

Breaking the Habit of Comparing Yourself With Others
So how do you break this cycle of comparing yourself with others? Here are some tips I’ve found useful:

• Awareness. Most often we do these social comparisons without realizing we’re doing it. It’s a natural act, I suppose, and as a result it’s something that is done without consciousness. So the solution is to become conscious — bring these thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness by being on the lookout for them. If you focus on these thoughts for a few days, it gets much easier with practice, and soon it’ll be hard not to notice.
• Stop yourself. Once you realize you’re doing these comparisons, give yourself a pause. Don’t berate yourself or feel bad — just acknowledge the thought, and gently change focus.
• Count your blessings. A better focus is on what you do have, on what you are already blessed with. Count what you have, not what you don’t. Think about how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to be alive at all.
• Focus on your strengths. Instead of looking at your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Celebrate them! Be proud of them. Don’t brag, but feel good about them and work on using them to your best advantage.
• Be OK with imperfection. No one is perfect — intellectually, we all know that, but emotionally we seem to feel bad when we don’t reach perfection. You aren’t perfect and you never will be. I certainly am not, and I’ve learned to be OK with that. Sure, keep trying to improve, but don’t think you’ll ever be the “perfect person”. If you look at it in a different way, that imperfection is what makes you who you are, you already are perfect.
• Don’t knock others down. Sometimes we try to criticize others just to make ourselves look or feel better. Taking someone else down for your benefit is destructive. It forms an enemy when you could be forming a friend. In the end, that hurts you as well. Instead, try to support others in their success — that will lead to more success on your part.
• Focus on the journey. Don’t focus on how you rank in comparison to others — life is not a competition. It’s a journey. We are all on a journey, to find something, to become something, to learn, to create. That journey has nothing to do with how well other people are doing, or what they have. It has everything to do with what we want to do, and where we want to go. That’s all you need to worry about.
• Learn to love enough. If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will always want more. That’s an endless cycle, and it will never lead to happiness. No matter how many clothes you buy, no matter how many houses you own (seven, in the case of one famous candidate), no matter how many fancy cars you acquire … you’ll never have enough. Instead, learn to realize that what you have is already enough. If you have shelter over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and people who love you, you are blessed. You have enough. Anything you have over and above that — and let’s admit that all of us reading this blog have more than that — is more than enough. Be good with that, and you’ll find contentment.

And if you haven't visited his website, then here it is again: http://zenhabits.net/




I guess today, I will try to remember to do just that. Hopefully that means it will be a more peaceful day in my crazy mind!

Spotted Owl Spotted!